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"R.S.V.P.-ing"?????

Thursday, February 2, 2012


I am very frustrated to say the least. Let me explain. I have always been the mother & wife that enjoys entertaining, whether it be birthday parties, family dinners, or holidays. I love the planning & the execution & the actual event. I love opening my home, sharing meals, & special days with our friends & family....& I believe our guests enjoy it too.

What I will never understand is the lack of consideration when it comes to R.S.V.P.-ing?
What is with that?....
You send invitations, asking if the recipient will let you know if they are able to come or not....not difficult. Now keep in mind it used to mean calling, but now more than not it is simply e-mailing the hostess, letting them know "yes" you are coming or "no" you are not....very, very easy, right?...
So again I ask, why don't people do it?....
Were we all not brought up to R.S.V.P?...I was brought up in a middle-class home, not terribly fancy, but there was not an invitation that went through our home where I was allowed to ignore calling the hostess.
I was taught that taking the time was respectful. Respectful of the hostess's time in planning meals & decor.
It was called having good manners....
& so I raised my own children.
T
oday however, this issue seems to be getting worse & worse!....I still entertain quite frequently, but receive only a handful of calls, usually having to check-in with people to see if indeed they are coming?....And most recently my daughter Holly, who is getting married in the next few weeks, has been given some lovely bridal showers...& of course half the people invited do not R.S.V.P? OMG!!??
My message here is this.....use the manners your mothers taught you!....act responsibly & politely!....
If you were thought highly enough of, to be invited to an event, then be responsible & respectful enough to R.S.V.P. to the host/hostess.
Remember to treat others the way you wish them to treat you.

Forgive my lecturing....

heidi
xo

7 comments:

Lisa~A Cottage To Me February 3, 2012 at 5:08 AM  

It is very rude to not RSVP. And as you said, it's so easy. I don't think people realize they are being that way...not to excuse them. But more then likely just believe that you "know" they will be there, so don't "think" to respond! Still rude though!

Wendy @ Ravenwood Whimzies February 3, 2012 at 6:12 AM  

I have to agree with you...I also love entertaining and opening our home to people, but there are certain ones who NEVER RSVP..and it is frustrating..perhaps they simply don't know what it means (which I find hard to believe). Not sure what the answer is.

Priscilla February 3, 2012 at 6:53 AM  

Nothing to forgive! You are so right. If I could, I'd shout it from the house-tops. As bad or worse is those who just don't show up. I hate planning a dinner party or some other event and then at the last minute the guest calls to they have something else to do, or they just never show up. I hate that! What's wrong with people?
I'm afraid this is not the only etiquette sin happening these days. Rude behavior is epidemic. I blame it on parents who have chosen to let their children be raised by institutions rather than at home, where common courtesy can be taught by example.

Andrea February 3, 2012 at 7:40 AM  

I also hated it when people rsvp to say they're coming, so you either pay for their food (as in our wedding) or make extra food (for a home party) and then they don't show! I admittidly still hold a grudge for a few people who did this at our wedding, and had no good excuse. That was over $100 per plate of 'food' we had to pay for. ugh, so rude!

cakegirl February 3, 2012 at 2:44 PM  

Hey girlfriend, we're here to list to you vent. Just wish I could be there to verbally support you...and enjoy some southern California weather!

Schotzy February 3, 2012 at 4:08 PM  

I have a story about this.. our daughter invited a church friend to her wedding... just the young man form her youth group... and at the wedding I noticed his whole family was attending him.... I was horrified because our reception at another location was a sit down dinner... not wanting to embarrass them I rushed away from the wedding to see about getting them placecards etc... and missed out on all the photos.. My mom and dad and husband and myself are in nothing but the casual shots... Neither the young man nor his family had ever replied that they were coming this was a destination wedding at our daughter's college and the young man was also a student there... we never dreamed his parents would come... we try not to be over wrought about the photos, but it does hurt sometimes... especially when we consider the cost as well.

stephanie February 3, 2012 at 6:20 PM  

I am suffering the same lack of courtesy as you have...So much so that my husband and I have decided to not host anymore large events for awhile as we have such a bad taste in our mouth from people---who are supposed to be our friends---rudeness...

A hostess should not have to hunt down her guests to find out whether they are attending a party!

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